Tuesday, November 5, 2013

This is the way...

What is Holy Spirit asking you to do during the every day?
During what we would think is mundane?
I assure you it doesn't have to be mundane anymore. :)

I am sharing with you a personal victory for me.
I share because I want you to know that the battle of flesh and spirit is just as real in me as it is in you...
I am not sharing this to 'toot my horn' but as a testament to the power and strength that Jesus put in me to do what He was asking me to do...
...because to be quite honest, I didn't want to do it:

This morning started like most.  Coffee perking, breakfast smelling amazing as the canadian bacon popped..waiting to be nestled between the egg and bread...YUM.  And then the not so fun...the battle to put down my phone to keep distractions from taking up all my Jesus time.  Time to spend with Father and read His Word.  I had just finished reading 1 Thessalonians and went on my run.  Meditating on the end of the book where Paul gives instructions on how Christians should conduct themselves.  Listening to Kim Walker's peppy song "Dance" to keep me paced at a rough 12 min mile. 

And then I see him...

  A man walking with a white cane in front of him.  Slender rod swinging side to side.  
I was just minding my own business when the intrusive thought came...

...the Holy Spirit thought...
...the thought that WAS NOT my own...

  "You should pray for that man."  

I get these thoughts more often than I would like to admit.  
Admitting to these thoughts would also cause me to confess my response to said thoughts:

 The thought to pray for the woman in front of me in line at the grocery store...she needs financial breakthrough.  I wrestle the thought.  She pays.  I pay.  As I walk behind her with my kitty litter, 25 lbs heavy, I use the excuse that I really need to get home and clean out the cat box.

The thought to minister to the woman with the brace on her arm at the craft store.  
I ignore it as it interrupts my creative flow.

The thought to turn around and give the lady and her small child a ride to wherever they need to go.

But I'll be late...


So, I slow my pace with the pondering of the thought.

"You should pray for that man."

  A blind man????  REALLY GOD?!?!!! 

That's the stuff that Jesus did...oh wait.  Jesus said that I could do greater...

But what if he doesn't get healed?

But what if he does?

But what if he thinks I am an impostor and hurts me trying to protect himself?

But what if I make a new friend and bring someone else into the Kingdom?

 The 'what ifs' toss around my soul.  My spirit is willing.  My flesh is weak.  

The saying NO to the spirit of the fear of man, the vulnerability, the complete humility that is going to have to take place...

Jesus help me.  I know you want me to do this but you're GOING TO HAVE TO HELP ME.

The inner war between spirit and flesh is ripping and tearing for a violent three tenths of a mile and then it happened.  

Jesus gave me a strength that I did not posses and replaced all the "What ifs" with a big FAT 
"WHY NOT???"

I walk slowly, approaching him cautiously as I do not want to alarm him.  

I say, "Excuse me, sir?"

He keeps walking.  I raise my voice a bit louder.

"Sir?  Excuse me, sir???"

The pendulum stick continues.  Not a hesitation.  Not a head turn.

Maybe he's ignoring me?  Maybe he feels threatened and thinks I will go away if he doesn't respond?

I pray for him as I walk behind him.  Ok!  That's not so bad.  Maybe I can get away with just this.  
NO!!!  I must obey COMPLETELY.  He needs to know that he is being prayed for.

There is a bus stop ahead.  I bet he's going there.  I see another gentlemen at the stop and I carefully walk around the blind man and run to the stop quite a bit ahead.  I ask the man at the bus stop if he waits with the blind man every day and he informs me that he doesn't.  I say, "I don't know if he can hear me.  I want to pray for him but I can't get his attention."  Then bubbling up..  "Do you know Jesus?"  He replied with a sincerity that he didn't and then the blind man approaches the stop.

He looks at me...but I don't know if he's really looking at me or if he just sees a figure.  I wave really big to him with a big smile.  He looks confused.  I say, "Hi."  And wave again.  He waves back with a smile and no words.  The nerves catch up and I'm shaking.  I say, pointing to my ears, "Can you hear me?"  He shook his head, "no."  I make the sign for "sign language" and did some letters and he shakes his head, "no."  

So basically, I have a legally blind man that can't hear or communicate with me.  Awesome.

The spirit says, "The love of Christ is more than enough."

By this time there are 4 more people at the bus stop and my flesh is REALLY getting uncomfortable.
But I must obey completely.

I look to him with kindness and with simple gestures, I point to myself, put my hands together bowing my head and then point to him.  He doesn't understand.  I do it a couple more times and then I added a thumbs up or a thumbs down.  

He gives me a thumbs up but still looks somewhat confused and so I put my hand gently on his shoulder and start praying for him.  I KNOW the Holy Spirit was there and it was a quick prayer...the city bus was approaching...but I feel like he felt the love of Christ.  I held my arms out like I wanted to give him a hug and he, with uncertainty, let me hug him.  I waved "bye" and ran off.  

Now here'e the crazy part...not even a millisecond after I feel the warmth of Father's heart in obeying what He wanted me to do...IMMEDIATELY.  And I mean IMMEDIATELY the enemy tried to come into my thoughts and tell me that I did it all wrong and that God didn't show up because there was not a manifestation.
Immediately he tried to tell me that I didn't do enough...that I should have shared the gospel with the other man too.  

Isn't it interesting that the devil is agreeable with such things when it benefits him in bringing shame, guilt and condemnation on me and you...huh.  

But! Thank you Jesus for your spirit in helping me not entertain those thoughts and telling him to shut up.    
I obeyed and Jesus was with me giving me strength through it all.  

And you know what?  I feel GREAT!  I feel such a freedom and victory from this morning!  But it's not over.  I believe that I am supposed to write to the man in BIG letters and give him the letter tomorrow.  I think he may be able to read and write and so that is how we may be able to communicate.

I don't know if his ears and eyes opened up on the way to his destination.  
I don't know if the man I asked about Jesus would be pondering that question all day.  

I don't know.  And I don't have to know.  All I am required to do is obey. 

I hope this encourages you to not brush off those intrusive thoughts.  
Those interrupting-our-life-thoughts.  
Those thoughts that are going to war against what feels comfortable.

Because those thoughts are really the voice of Jesus saying, "...this is the way, walk in it."

"Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass."
1 Thessalonians 5:24